It's not that I refuse to listen, because I do. As full of excuses as this may sound, I don't know how to explain it at the moment. It could be because I'm overwhelmed (or simply lack the time and vocabulary to explain things the way I want to), but I promise you I will change to be stronger. And I promise that in time, I'll explain to you the reasoning behind whatever that you don't see right now. And when that time comes, please don't get angry when I tear up. Just because I cry, it doesn't mean I'm weak or I fucked up and did something that I regret. Each time I cry, it's because I'm relieved that a part of me can finally be released. So if you talk to me and I cry, don't get mad, just let me cry while speaking to you.

Don't know what keeps you talking to me, but whatever it is that I'm doing right (whether I'm in control of this fact or not), thanks for staying even though I push you away because I want to curl up in a ball and not deal with anything. Lately, I admit I haven't been the best of friend, girlfriend, daughter, person, and for that I am really sorry. Will you be patient with me and let me get my shit together until I can make it up to you? ._. What did I ever do to deserve amazing people like you? ._. Where is all my luck coming from?

It seems like such a short time ago that I was writing my new years resolution in January. Can't say that that list is going to be fulfilled this year, but some things that I wrote there seriously makes me laugh. Not because they're stupid goals, but because some things have been reappearing in the list from the year before. Why am I such a forgetful person?

Anyway, this post might have sounded a bit more down than I intended it to be, but I assure you that I'm happy. I've made some stupid mistakes, but will you let me go at it once more before you give up on me? :\ There's just something that I really want this time around, and I don't want to bury that feeling again. 

My posts always feel incomplete, but for now this will do. This didn't sound like a thankful post (or as thankful as the years before). Maybe it's because I can't thank you by showing you immediate changes that I feel like this isn't exactly up to par, but for now, will you at least let me treat you to frikken food as thanks for  one time? Why does no one ever let me pay? Why are you all being Asian fighting over the bill? Happy Thanksgiving o_o