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{- Thursday, September 13, 2012 @ 2:58 AM} Maybe the thing that I don't believe in actually exists. That all along, I've just been too busy wondering what I would do if it really is all just a hoax. What am I to believe in if it's all fake? I'm so scared that I just make everything fade away, because knowing reality, that's what happens eventually anyway. But why can't I just let myself live in the moment? Why can't my pride let myself be a fool, and fuck what everyone else thinks? Is thinking like this, and being honest, really that naive? Or was that just hate that I took to heart? Have I just been telling myself lies all along to put on a strong front, just to make myself believe that even if it's existence is a lie, then "I'll still be okay, I can still be happy, I'll still be fine, because I was never foolish enough to put my trust in something with no hard evidence." But maybe I'm done faking strong, done pretending my emotion's the villain in every story. Because I want to believe again, and because being "smart" is not me.
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