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{perfectionism- Tuesday, December 6, 2011 @ 8:28 PM} It's hard to be perfect. As a matter of fact, I think perfection is impossible to achieve. Yet everyday, I feel the need to go beyond my expectations :\ It makes me worry excessively and so overly anxious that I could probably be diagnosed with some sort of anxiety disorder. I'm never satisfied with the way things are no matter how good, because I feel like "it could be better". But really, I am thankful for the things that I have.
I was thinking about a particular topic today. It made me wonder why I can't be like her. But if I was her, I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't have what I have; and I wouldn't be who I am. I guess, I'm just jealous of the skills that people have, which I lack. It's like, "how will I ever catch up when I seem like I'm so far behind?" But in the end, we're still young and this is only the beginning. There are still many more opportunities in the future to grow stronger and improve. All you got to do is take hold of those chances and turn them into something worthwhile. But isn't this way of thinking sort of naive? Anyway, there's no use worrying about what could have happen when you live in the present. Yet at the same time, I'm scared of what could happen because the future is capable of scaring me and surprising me in more than just one way. Seriously, why can't I just grow some balls and trust in myself more? |