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{it's not you; it's me- Wednesday, June 29, 2011 @ 12:21 AM}

I'm not sure if you'll say the same, but I think we've gotten much closer since the first time you saw me, or the first time we talked. Heck, even the first time we hung out. One day, you asked me if I thought you were annoying, and maybe you thought my answer was a hoax lol but the truth is, you really aren't. I mean who out there would spend their time listening to me bitch about things that don't even matter to them? Honestly, I think there's only a few people in the world who would spend the time to know someone. Because I find myself guilty of doing a half-assed job most of the time. Maybe it's part of that happy, cheerful personality of yours, but whatever it is, thanks for being you and such a great friend (: I appreciate it.

There was this one subject that I didn't even want to think about, because I wasn't sure how I was suppose to tackle it, but your words got to me. The answer came to me so easily I didn't even have to think. It was really one of those cartoon light bulb moments where I stare into space shortly after. I never really told you what conclusion I came up with after, and I'm not sure you'll understand because I didn't even tell you the whole story (for which I really appreciate for not prying about). It's amazing how I told you nothing in a sense, yet your words made it seem like you knew everything lol

Well to begin with, I thank you for bringing up the pros. I probably knew of them, but because of one thing, I shot them all down without a second thought. It's one of those moments where you're so caught up in one thing, you don't even consider the rest no matter how important they are. Ya know what I mean? Haha. I've been trying to convince myself with all the wrong reasons when really, what is there to deny when I knew the answer myself? Even you knew my answer for me. I may be putting too much meaning into something that doesn't exist, but that doesn't matter. Don't you hate that feeling when you regret not doing something because if you at least tried, you could say you gave it a shot? That's kind of what it means to have a happy heart, no?

And this is for you. I guess this could answer another one of those "What can you read about me," kind of question. From what I sensed, I doubt you'll be reading this because that's just the kind of person you are. Not saying that's a bad thing. I said this before, but it's really something I would like you to teach me to do lol.
Just because I don't say anything now doesn't mean I will never say anything again. I don't know how I managed to mess up like this, but trouble does like to follow someone like me. Don't really know if it affected you anymore after that one night (haha, probably not), but I'd like to apologize once again. It's taking a bit longer than I first expected it to, but when all those troubles that you knew of are handled, I'll try again. And if you still have that something that you kept, thanks (: if not, disregard this whole thing and view me as one of those girls.